Singlish, Lah!

A story I heard from my Dad: after he and a foreign colleague joked that Singaporeans added the suffix ‘lah’ to the end of every sentence, a Singaporean colleague overheard and defensively retorted:

That sentence pretty much summarizes the whole spirit of Singlish. Singlish is not a conscious effort; you do not think of doing it; you simply do it. It naturally rolls off the tongue, it is as intuitive as reflex, it is an essence. Having lived in Singapore for ten years – literally half my life – I am, in many definitions of the word, pretty much Singaporean. I live in an HDB flat, eat at food courts, drink bubble tea. However, I will never be mistaken for Singaporean by any local, simply because I cannot, for the life of me, speak Singlish. (Years of international school and American TV has hammered into me a very strong American accent.) And just because of that one fact alone, I may as well be the oil to their water.

Singlish is technically a pidgin dialect of English, but I would classify it as another language altogether. Believe me, you’ll understand when you yourself first arrive to that sunny island, awestruck by the beautiful airport, taking in the balmy weather and beautiful scenery, only to get into a taxi and be asked:

“Going where, ah?”

You wonder: what has happened to all the pronouns, the conjunction words, the grammar? What is this ‘ah’? Why the gruff, sullen tone? At first, I thought Singaporeans were plain rude. You must remember, as a Thai, a huge smile and melodious tone are essentially ingrained instinct; anything less was unheard of. Only after years of residence in the country did I learn that they were merely speaking Singlish.

In some ways, I must applaud its economy; Singlish is crude, but efficient. What would have taken ages in ‘normal’ English can be easily condensed into a curt few words. Singlish is the lean meat to English’s fat fowl. Perhaps if Singlish were used as the universal language, the world would be a better place. Business transactions would be straightforward. There would be no concept of ‘beating around the bush’. All the questions in the world could be answered with one word: “Can.”

Then again, maybe not. Because the beautiful thing about Singlish, just like most languages, is its individuality, its exclusiveness. Singlish is one of Singapore’s unique cultural anomalies, along with durians, Draconian-esque laws, and Crocs. (Okay, the last one isn’t really, but visit sometime and you’ll see my point.) After all, where else can one enjoy the unique concept ones calls ‘kiasu’ in Singlish, the personality disorder that defines all Singaporeans, in which ‘everything I must come first’? It’s one of those things that’s better off practiced by the locals and viewed from afar by amused foreigners. Attempting to speak Singlish if not Singaporean will only get you stared at and duly dismissed.>I suppose it doesn’t hurt to try anyway. Who knows, it could actually earn you some brownie points with the locals instead. Next time I try to speak Singlish, I think I’ll add ‘lah’ to the end of everything. It’s a good enough start, lah.